What a horrible idea. I heard from a blog I frequent much less after the egregious 2012 presidential elections that this was a patriotic film. Pardon me? Explosions are American now?

I decided to dip my toes in the mainstream movie stream just to keep tabs on what teenage boys think is good entertainment. Even by their standards, I can’t see how they could appreciate the shallowness of all of the characters, including the shallowness of the story. Before I get ahead of myself, I am not castigating the screenwriters, who wrote professionally. And even further, I am not castigating professional screenwriting. I turn my rancor toward an audience that simply wants a pleasure stimulus as a summer heat escape.

Where to start? We have an anemic American who wants to enlist in the army but will be committing suicide for doing so. Fortunately for Team America, they have a German researcher who happens to have a secret laboratory in Brooklyn. In fact, this secret laboratory is the center of the American military planning, on a different continent (perhaps the screenwriters deserve a strike here).

The German researcher has a super formula for creating super humans, which will turn the tide in the war. Except there is a megalomaniac that seeks to overthrow Hitler, who happens to receive all of his funding from Hitler. How exactly is he able to create a military force to destroy the Nazis when they sustain the delusions of grandeur? Strike two.

It’s entirely possible that the literally magical power elixir attained by the villain can destroy the world. But what benefit is a desecrated world to him? He wants the world to obey him, certainly. But why destroy the major cities in Europe and the world? To end the war faster? Ironically if he did, millions of lives would have been saved.

Let’s follow this logic: if the world submitted to his authority, world order would be restored. Would he be a tyrant? Presumably yes. But does that necessarily mean he would govern in a more tyrannical manner than the soviets or aggrandizing governments worldwide? What is his self-interest in creating an Orwellian world?

This contemplation is too much for an unchallenging and unsophisticated work. American teenagers should be ashamed of themselves.

Grade: F